The Bear

The Bear is a symbol of strength, and thats what i am told that represents me. I feel i have to uphold that. I don't need anybody to make me happy besides my friends and family. i know whats been making me stressed and sleep deprived. I just needed to realize it. As i read my old messages about Francisco, i realized that i had become the kind of girl that i hated the most. Girls full of themselves and not really opening their eyes to reality. I can't believe i was cought up in that type of world. Please, I'm strong and i dont need someone in my life like that to make me completely happy. only thing good coming out of a relationship is that it's an award of hard work and being able to wait to be in a great relationship. well; i'm glad that i'm blogging again. (:

I never meant to start a war

past two nights i have not slept much. I didnt sleep until it was early morning. new years i did not sleep till 5:30 a.m. Last night, not till 7 a.m. this morning. And now i found myself in that same position. I can not sleep, and i feel as though this is going to become a habit. And its not healthy, all day i have felt sick because i didn't get to sleep. Will this not only be a habit but a health issue? will it affect my life at school and with my friends. Softball is coming around and i need rest, i need that sleep to feel good about playing and so that i wont get tired out while im practicing. I feel scared. Im worried that this will hurt me emotionally as well. My mom tells me im probably being haunted from the past because i am starting to make drastic changes in my life. arren't changes good? I no longer feel like myself, i feel like i've forgotten things in my life. I'm not longer akk the way there when people talk to me. I no longer care.